Just over a week ago, on day 24 of #AprilTTRPGMaker, I half jokingly said that my greatest achievement was my ability to obfuscate myself. Then, this week a list of Tabletop Role-playing Gamers did the rounds. It's got 179 names on it (180, if you include the list compiler). I follow a few of them, and a few of them are respected names in various scenes of the wider gaming community... and naturally I'm not there.
Out of curiosity, I looked at some of the names on the list that I don't follow yet.
Some have been circled on G+ by less than an eighth of the people who've circled me... so I guess they're either in contact with "big names" in the community, or maybe they go to the various big name US/UK conventions where they get their names known.
Some of them haven't posted anything this year... so apparently I've got a lower profile than people who don't post things at all.
Some don't seem to post much original stuff at all, and only offer reshares once a week or so... so maybe that means prominent gamers only function as elements of an echo chamber.
Of course the list says not to feel bad if you were left off it. But when you're excluded in favour of less circled, less active, and less original people... it does feel like being snubbed. It really makes me wonder if sending messages out into the ether is worthwhile, or if I should just shut up, forget the whole creative side of gaming, and go back to being a passive consumer of stuff that never quite satisfies. Maybe It's just the occasional bouts of depression talking.